By Liquid-X, Lazarusworld Associated Press and cute cuddly kittens.

New York- Today, Sony Online Entertainment announced today it's decision to revolutionize the world of Massively Multiplayer Online games. "Starting today, we will start charging five dollars each time a user wants to view the Patch Notes.", stated John Smedley, president of SoE. "Patch Notes are some of the most viewed documents in any type of Online Gaming. And what better way to make more money from our suck... er, valued customers, then to continue gouging them for every red cent? We figure if this works, we can start charging them rent on their very SOULS!."

Satan, feared lord of the nine levels of hell and malicious puppy kicker, also hinted at his plans to announce his partnership with SoE in a press conference scheduled later this week. Meanwhile, several websites such as Gamespot were already proclaiming the bold new inventive move of SoE, and praising their evil digital overlords. Evil Killer Poptarts was contacted, and had this to say: "I don't even play games, so why are you asking me this? And stay the hell out of my shower, you PERVERT!".

And in unrelated news, a reporter for the Lazarusworld Associated Press was admitted to the hospital this evening with what doctors described as "A very large mallet like object lodged firmly in the nether regions where sunlight does not shine."