Playing with your Sims sure is fun, but if you don't make them get jobs they'll eventually run out of money to buy food and shrivel up dead. Not that that's not fun, but if the game is over I can no longer entertain you when you're supposed to be working. So bear with me as I actually make our SimForum do something.

A good night's sleep is important to get off on the right foot in your new job, and as you can see here the children are nestled all snug in their beds. Except Gray, who I guess figured the couch was more comfortable.

Before the crack of dawn, KC is off to work in his new military career. Although in that stylin' outfit, I'm not sure what group he'll be working with. Maybe the Fashionistas. Little sister Kris must be so proud.

Come now. How could I resist giving X the leopard-print briefs?

But at least he hasn't gone outside in them. Yet.

I couldn't get a good shot of the green fumes wafting off the tray of food there on the floor, but rest assured it's plenty rancid. In most houses, when there's milk and cheese and stuff that's been sitting out all night, a normal person will throw it out. Young adults, such as Kris, Laz and Log there, will probably ignore it and hope it goes away on its own.

Endy cooks it.

And he doesn't heave once while he's eating. Maybe we should rethink the Iron Chef moniker in favor of "Iron Stomach."

In fact, he's more distraught by the smell of Gray's burned TV dinner. Please note in the background that Q is still hanging out in just his badass choneys.

Let's see ... life of crime leads to kingpin status leads to complete world domination ... yes please!

For his part, KC plans to meet his megalomania aspiration by quickly moving up the ranks in the military. I'd better watch out he doesn't try to garrote Endy in his sleep.

With some of KC's income, I decide it'll be nice to give the Badboys some more ways to entertain themselves. Buying the easel and the telescope matches two of Log's wants, perhaps because now he can spy unimpeded on the neighbors.

Q99: "Hey baby, how you doin'?"

I also pick up a TV. Later, just after everybody is awakened by KC watching cartoons, I'll remember to put a wall between the living and sleeping areas.

KellysCappuccino: "Must ... feed ... the machine...."

I suppose I could have also paid the bills, which Kris took out of the mailbox and left lying in the front yard, but ... nah. Electricity really isn't that important, is it?

Kris is off to her night job as a security guard. There's something about a woman in uniform. Hopefully they let her carry a nightstick to fend off the drooling hordes of fanboys.

You can hear the trombone sound effect in this picture.

His pretty picture complete, Laz is off to the rat race. I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with his arm, though. Either in his excitement he jumped into the EMT jumpsuit a little too fast, or it's a requirement that you have two right arms for the position.

As a fortunate coincidence, Laz's job means the ambulance is right outside when the first house fire erupts. Apparently, Gray was trying to make a pop tart and all hell broke loose. I really oughta make him study cooking, given his performance with the TV dinners. Log, as is understandable, freaks the fuck out.

Thanks to my foresight in purchasing a smoke detector, the fire department arrives in time to save the oven and all of our lives. They don't have enough time to spare, unfortunately, to prevent Log and Gray from going insane with fear.

Fortunately, a personal therapist comes in handy. And I do mean personal. Unless I have Log selected as the active character, this guy is invisible. He helps the poor arboreal section through his troubles ...

... and takes off into the wild blue. Without even taking any of my money. That's some kind of damn deal!

Encouraged by my hanging Laz's painting up on the wall, KC decides to do him one pinker.

This is the part of the game I really suck at. Occasionally, while your Sim is at work you'll get this giant text box giving a work situation that you have to solve. So I try to get the guy to deal with it in the best possible way, and he inevitably ends up demoted. I try not to think of it as reflecting on my own work performance in real life, because I don't really want to have to commit seppuku.

Being a security guard is tough work, and it requires a tough person. Thanks to a workout video, Kris is able to buff up nicely. Actually, this is one of my favorite parts of the game as compared to the original Sims -- there's more than one way to get skill points. With the TV, you can get Body AND Cooking points just by changing the channel. Who says the idiot box isn't good for anything?

To prove how tough exactly she is, Kris can't help but engage in a game of "Punch You, Punch Me" with Gray in the front yard in her underwear, while in the background the still-unpaid bills begin to smoke.

It's when Gray and Log find it necessary to panhandle for change out in front of the house that I finally decide it's time for my two Fortune-aspiration Badboys to get some jobs.

Since Gray wants to pursue an athletic career, I gently nudge him to follow in Streon's footsteps and enter the lucrative field of llama mascot.

There's nothing in the paper that matches Log's job-hunting wants, though, so I just build him a room full of money trees. Surely having this in the house will not lead to any wacky hijinks.

Next time: wacky hijinks!

Posted by Endymion at February 24, 2005 12:31 PM